| Finding Myself |
[Jun. 4th, 2006|03:47 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | blah | ] |
| [ | music |
| | The Ballad Of Serenity | ] | I've decided to keep up all my journals again, since I'm bored and have nothing better to do.
I made a pledge, tonight actually, to start being more honest with people. Not that I lie to them or anything, but just keeping stuff from them. I started will telling my friend Pam that I had a crush on her, and expect to keep talking to people about stuff more as well. Other than that, things have been pretty uneventful. Working and trying to pay off my car.
I'm really confused as to what I want to do with my life though. I'm considering moving, perhaps out of state, but I'm not entirely sure where I'd go. I know I've got a few people who'd be able to give me a place to crash while I got my situation together. I think I've got one place up in Canada, one down in Florida, another in Georgia, my Grandparents in North Carolina, and my parents in Maine (although living with them has taken a toll on my nerves). All of them have their ups and down, so I'm really confused as to what I'll do... I'll probably repost some of this in my journal on MySpace since that gets a little bit more traffic. I just really need to get out of this town. It's great being around family and such, but there just aren't any damn girls around here. Seriously, it's sad how all the girls here aren't... any good... *sighs*
I guess that's all my ranting for today. |
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| The Owner Of A Broken Heart |
[Feb. 1st, 2006|04:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 'I'll Be' - Edwin McCain | ] | Well, as if I didn't see it coming, it's happened again. I had been dating this girl, Becca, for just over a month now. Things had been going great until a few days ago. She just started acting really bitchy towards me, and the yesterday she had been telling me how everyone thinks she should be going out with this douche Jeromy. I should have remembered what I was taught and broke up with her right there. It's -ALWAYS- they guy that they talk about. But, I was stupid and waited it out only to get dumped today. Oh well, I guess. It's happened to me before, and it'll happen again. Thankfully I am used to it and it hasn't really affected me much. I've become calloused to this kinda thing. It honestly sucks that I've been through it enough to not care anymore, but at the same time it has made me a bit stronger. I just need to figure out how I can see past my feelings to the stone cold truth of the matter. I should have known that she was going to do this from what she had said. She told me that while I was perfect, and she loved me... He was -there- (IE More convenient), coupled with the fact she constantly told me that she was impatient. I figured me dropping $1,500 on a car just to see her would have been proof enough that I cared, but I guess I'm the sucker here, huh?
Another question that this -always- raises to me is why am I so easy to cast aside? I mean, I don't really try to be overly nice, it's just that I -am- a nice guy. When I'm saying sweet things to girls, complimenting them, doing things for them, it's not because I want to get into their pants... It's who I am. I was -raised- to be like this, not to mention the fact I spent about half of my life only in the company of females. I guess that it's going to be my mission in life to be the one who dishes out compliments to the beautiful girls who say they want nice guys, but are really after the assholes. Sad thing is, that in 20 years when the sound of their biological clocks start to grow louder, they'll come looking for us. They'll understand that all the time spent in persuit of a complete Jackass was for nothing, and relize our worth. And the most horrible part about it is that we -let- them. It's just sad...
Well, I'm done with my ranting for now. I just hope that any female reading this will relize the worth of the nice guys. Don't make them unavalible by saying that 'I don't want to ruin our friendship', or 'He's too nice to date'. We'll stay your friend if things take a turn for the worse, that's why we're nice guys. Please... Give the nice guy in your life a chance, because odds are that he deserves it. |
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| Fucking blah... |
[Dec. 26th, 2005|07:47 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crushed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Glycerine (Acoustic) - Bush | ] | Today has just been one of those days. You know the kind. Everything that possbly goes wrong does. I already felt like shit starting out the day, and things just kept piling on top of it...
I got another wake up call about how stupid I act... I'm still finding myself trying to like more than one girl at a time. My habit of doing this is horrible, I know, but I guess it's just my way of trying to keep from getting hurt. If one girl rejects me then it's ok, because there is another one that I like...
Yes, I relize how horrible that sounds, and I don't do it on purpose. I've just gotten hurt a lot and it's my coping mechanizm. I really need to keep from doing it, I know... *sighs* I just feel like shit today... |
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| The Return Of The Hobbit |
[Dec. 19th, 2005|12:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Save Tonight - Rockapella | ] | Well, I finally found my LJ account as the few people who might see this can tell and I decided to update it a little. No one i know who lives here has this one, so this is pretty much the only place I can say certain things... So expect lots of ranting.
I've been thinking a lot lately, and I think I've figured out why I don't have a girlfriend. I treat girls I like differently. I'm not myself when I talk with a girl I like, which would also explain why girls I only consider friends like me. I don't feel the same pressure around friends that I do when there is a girl I like, which changes how I act. It's kinda sad really... But I'll write more in a little while. Back to work I go. |
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| Who's that sexy Jedi? |
[Jul. 25th, 2005|02:07 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | sleepy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 'Blow Me Out' - Breaking Benjamin | ] |
Obi-Wan Kenobi You scored 80% wisdom, 31% aggression, 53% power, and 82% morality! |
| You are one of the wisest Jedi of them all, and have had a very eventful career full of failures and successes. You are a skilled fighter, having defeated many powerful opponents in your time. You are not overly aggressive, though. You are more reserved and collected. Your sense of morality is without question, and you are a model Jedi. |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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You scored higher than 79% on wisdom |
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You scored higher than 10% on aggression |
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You scored higher than 6% on power |
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You scored higher than 85% on morality |
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| So Entertained, Yet So Bored... |
[Jul. 10th, 2005|12:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | lonely | ] | I hung out at a friend's place for the weekend. Played some games, and went to Bangor a few times. Bought another book of 'Love Hina', 'Team American: World Police', 'Clerks' Cartoons, and 'Final Fantasy VII'. I also got some 'Reverse Choco' *moanz* SOOO good. But I hung out there and had a pretty fun weekend. Went to the movies and saw 'Fantastic 4' and 'Batman Begins'. Fantastic 4 was pretty good, but could have been better. Batman Begins was just awesome, there is no other explination. It was a -very- well made movie.
But even with all the fun things I've been doing, it's still been pretty boring not getting to talk with/hang out with Ashe-bear. I really hope that she made it down there fine, has fun, and makes it back fine as well. I'm starting to miss getting to talk with her. T-T Hehe, anyways. I'm out. |
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| bored... |
[Jul. 7th, 2005|08:58 pm] |
Going to have to go almost a whole week without talking with Ashe-bear! T-T It's going to suck not having someone to talk and RP with online, plus the fact she's the only person who visits me. Other than that, I've just been dealing with the aftermath of haying, plus the fact I just got a blister on my hand from mowing the lawn >.< Hasn't exactly been the greatest time, but oh well. I'll make it, I always do ;-)

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| Ow... I hate hay... |
[Jul. 6th, 2005|12:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | bored | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Star Wars Theme (On The Test) | ] | Today I went to the Wyman's Farm today in order to do some haying... OH... MEH... GAWD... It sucked so badly. My arms, legs and face are all scratched to hell. I did this about 8 hours ago, and my skin still burns and itches. [/complainingabouthay] Other than that, it's been pretty uneventful at my house. Parents have been arguing because my step-dad is an idiot, and I've just been playing video games. *Loves his new room* Well... I'll check back some other time... I'll leave you with a Personality test ;-)
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 3rd, 2005|06:23 am] |
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to the First Level of Hell - Limbo! Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test
I'm going to Limbo! *puts on a lei and coconut bra* I get to party with Homer and Arostotle! w00t w00t!
... First time ran through the test I got the Third level of Hell... Which ment that Cerebus was eating my ass for all eternity... :-( But Limbo is MUCH better!
Not much happening here. Helped my sister with her yard sale, listening to my step-dad throw a hissy fit, and Ashe-Bear is coming over... *looks at the time* Today :-D Yay! |
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| Welcome To The Wonderful World Of... Me? |
[Jul. 1st, 2005|01:32 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | silly | ] | Well, here I am. I got bored so I started a LJ. Not that much has been going on with me recently. Most of my time earlier this summer was dedicated to filling out job applications, but since I cannot drive... really limits me. Been hanging out with my friend Ashely, whos man babies I will bear. I went over to her house yesterday and she dressed me up like Kikyo from Inuyasha... DAMN was I hawt! Even with the little chin beard I'd have done me! XD I had a lot of fun hanging out and watching Disney movies with her.
Aside from hanging out with Ashe-bear and loafing about the house, waiting for a job, Not much has been going on with me. I'll probably check back when there is ;-) |
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